This is my other blog: http://fuckyeahguysinjeans.tumblr.com/
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Just gonna brag for a moment… but… I drew this and… it’s cool. It’s a honey ant and a lil bit… it looks like a honey ant n a lil bit… I can draw if I wanna sometimes haha.
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This is how I remember random bullshit facts long enough to spit them back out on exams for finals… some real critical thinking taking place here folks…
Part III Most Important Images
Unit 1
Jean-Honore Fragonard, The Swing, 1766, Rococo, France, oil on canvas
French Gonads eats pervy rococopuffs while watching swing. Too much of a pussy for 69 so 66, his french cum is oily so oil on canvas from France.
Jacques-Louis David, Oath of the Horatii, 1785, Neo-Classical, France, oil on canvas
David (michalangelo’s dave) has such good abs that whores make oaths for him (oath of the horatii) neon glow classical (neo-classical) party with david’s dick. Oily french dick again.
Eugène Delacroix, Liberty Leading the People, 1830, Romanticism, France, oil on canvas
Delacroix=delicious cocks. lady liberty’s dress falls at possibility of freedom of delicious cocks for the people she leads. Delicious cocks is so romantic. Oily french dicks AGAIN!
Jean-François Millet, The Gleaners, 1857, Realism, France, oil on canvas
Millet=a grain=they’re gleaning it. ordinary people=realism. harvesting oily french cocks.
Gustave Courbet, The Stone Breakers, 1849, Realism, France, oil on canvas
Courbet=corbett=rich fucking asshole who ruins the lives of philadelphians=ruins the lives of these poor stone breakers. Real people=realism. Corbett is such an oily french cock…
Edouard Manet, Olympia, 1863, Realism, France, oil on canvas
Manet=Man It=can you man a self employed prostitute? Real people=realism. You couldn’t get yer oily french cock there if you tried cause fuck you.
Unit 2
Claude Monet, Impression, Sunrise, 1872, Impressionism, France, oil on canvas
Monet=money=the sunrise looks like a penny. The water is oily french cum. his impression of what he sees=impressionism.
Claude Monet, Boulevard des Capucines, 1873, Impressionism, France, oil on canvas
Monet=money=a boulevard full of rich people=a boulevard full of money=caps u see (rich people top hats is what you see)=capucines. the snow is oily french cum. Impression of what he sees=impressionism.
Paul Cézanne, Mont Sainte-Victoire, ca. 1902-04, Post-Impressionism, France, oil on Canvas
Cezanne=spanish rice=mont sainte-victoire=victorious mountain of the saint of spanish rice! 1902=the 90’s is when I ate the most spanish rice. the oily french cum is what makes the spanish rice taste so good. personal perceptions=post impressionism.
Paul Gauguin, Yellow Christ, 1889, Post-Impressionism/Symbolism/Primitivism, France, oil on canvas
Gauguin=gagging penguin=all those women are gagging cause christ turned yellow from rot. Jesus looks primitive=primitivism. He’s yellow cause his oily french cum rotted.
Vincent van Gogh, Self Portrait, 1889, Post-Impressionism, France, oil on Canvas
I got this one. Bitch.
Vincent van Gogh, Bedroom of the Artist, 1888, Post-Impressionism, France, oil on Canvas
Oh I know my van gocketer… biatch.
Edvard Munch, The Scream, 1893, Post-Impressionism/Symbolism, France, oil, pastel, and casein on cardboard
MUCH ON THE SCREAMS OF FEARRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!! SO AFRAID COULDN”T FIND CANVAS SO GRABBED SOME CARDBOARD!
Unit 3
Pablo Picasso, Les Demoiselles d’Avignon, 1907, Primitivism/proto-Cubism, France, oil on canvas
Picasso ok got it, this name who the fuck is remembering this name? Damsels of avon ladies? what? Oh man that’s a stretch. ALMOST cubes but not=proto cubism. Everything is oily french cocks apparently.
Henri Matisse, The Joy of Life, 1905-06, Fauvism, France, oil on canvas
Matisse=my tits=so many tits in this painting=tits are joy=tits are the joy of life. Fauvism=favoritism=favoritism of the tits. Oily french cum gets all over the favorite my tits.
Pablo Picasso, Ma Jolie, 1911-12, Cubism, France, oil on canvas
This one says the title on the picture so we’re good. Cubes. Oily french cum.
Pablo Picasso, Still Life with Chair Caning, 1912, Cubism, France, collage
Self explanatory. Cubes. COLLAGE! COLLEGE! is dumb.
Pablo Picasso, Guitar, 1912, Cubism, France, constructed collage
Self explanatory. Cubes. it’s a dumb college but it’s 3d so it tricks kids to thinking it’s not dumb… but it is.
Unit 4
Pablo Picasso, Bull’s Head, 1943, Assemblage, France, cast bronze
Self explanatory. He assembled it. It’s an assemblage.
Marcel Duchamp, Fountain, 1917, Dada, New York, urinal and paint/readymade
Duchamp=douche=fountain of douches. All the douches always live in new york. They’re ruining your favorite number again… 17.
Pablo Picasso, Guernica, 1937, Surrealism, France, oil on canvas
This painting is so bitchin I wont forget it… french oily cum.
Salvador Dali, Soft Construction with Boiled Beans: Premonition of Civil War, 1936, Surrealism, Spain, oil on canvas
Wont forget dali… SPAIN!!!!!! Finally not an oily FRENCH cock… oily spanish oliv oil… on canvas.
Joan Miro, Beautiful Bird Revealing the Unknown to a Pair of Lovers, 1941, Surrealism, France, gouache, oil wash, and charcoal on paper
Miro=mira=look=big eyes. Eyes get big when it’s the UNKNOWN!!! Unknown before the war. This is also about the war.
Unit 5
Piet Mondrian, Composition in Red, Yellow, and Blue, 1930, Geometric Abstraction/De Stijl, France, oil on canvas
Modrian=modern=looks MODERN! Geomtry, duh. OILY DICKS IN FRANCE OF COURSE!
Piet Mondrian, Untitled, (oval composition), 1914, Geometric Abstraction/De Stijl, France, oil on canvas
Modrian=Modern=looks modern. It’s in an oval. Duh. Geometry again. Earlier than the other one… 1914? How the fuck do you memorize dates? Oily cocks.
Gerrit Rietveld, Schroeder House, 1923-24, Utrecht, International Style, Netherlands
Rietveld=rioting cause this house is SO CRAZY! (it’s really not.) Schroeder is the piano player in peanuts, he would live in a classy house like this. Utrecht, the art store. Netherlands beacuse you’d need a sunny house in a country where there is no light…
Wassily Kandinsky, Panel for Edwin R. Campbell No. 4, 1914, Germany, oil on canvas
Kandinsky=can dink ski. My lil dick can too go skiing in the snow of mushroom campbells soup! People ski in germany? Sure.
Unit 6
Jackson Pollock, One, Number 31, 1950, Abstract Expressionism/Action Painting, USA, oil and enamel on canvas
Pollock=is a racist word. You actually only need one for the lightbulb, if you say more it’s racist, so it’s One… but if you were a racist, you’d say 31. One, 31. Abstract but expressing inner feelings.
John Cage, Composition: 4’33’’ (4 minutes 33 seconds), 1952, USA, performance
Cage=I hate being in a cage/box. To break out I’ma make a song that has nothing in it. I’m not in my cage no more bitch. 4 and two asses. 4’33.
Allan Kaprow, 18 Happenings in Six Parts, 1959, USA, performance
Kaprow=KAPOW WAS THIS EVER STUPID?! You do dumb shit when you turn 18… and this was dumb… 18 happenings. It’s the beginning of the 60s.
Willem de Kooning, Woman and Bicycle, 1953, Abstract Expressionism/Action Painting, USA, oil on canvas
Kooning=is close to a racist word. I don’t know what that has to do with a woman on a bicycle but maybe it’ll help me remember. She has big tits and I can’t see a bicycle.
Mark Rothko, Number 15, 1957, Abstract Expressionism/Color Field Painting, USA, oil on canvas
Rothko… Broth Co. if you’re 15 and you have blue waffle it’s cause you ate soup that was tainted from Broth Co.
Unit 7
Willem de Kooning, Marilyn Monroe, 1954, Abstract Expressionism, USA, oil on canvas
Racist name again… marilyn monroe? This isn’t helping… she’s just as blonde as they make em. She’s also dead… sucks for her. I can’t come up with good ones for these… fuck.
Richard Hamilton, Just what is it that makes today’s homes so different, so appealing?, 1956, Pop Art, England, collage on paper
Hamilton. Ham town. That guy looks like a canned ham. He’s in the town of ham. That’s what makes the homes different. They are ham homes. In england they don’t have ham so they ask about it in their art. “Why don’t we have ham towns?”
Roy Lichtenstein, Big Painting VI, 1965, Pop Art, USA, oil and acrylic on canvas
Oh god I hate this painting. Lichtenstein=Licked his stains. Big painting stains.
Roy Lichtenstein, Masterpiece, 1962, Pop Art, USA, oil on canvas
Oh I hate this one too. Licked his stains. This speaks for itself tho thank twats.
Andy Warhol, Campbell’s’ Soup (Tomato), 1968, Pop Art, USA, screen-print on paper
Self explanatory.
Andy Warhol, Mona Lisa, 1963, Pop Art, USA, screen-print on paper
Self explanatory.
Claes Oldenburg, Clothespin, 1976, Pop Art/Public Art, central square, Philadelphia, Cor-ten and stainless steel
Oldenburg. I hate this too. He’s old. He lives in oldenburg. Shitty art from oldenburg being paid for with money that could go to the school district. Woot.
Unit 8
Christo and Jean-Claude, Running Fence, 1976, Public Art, Sonoma and Marin Counties, California, USA, nylon fabric and steel
Christo=christ died so you could make this fence. only mountains like these could be seen in cali.
Christo and Jeanne-Claude, The Gates, Project for Central Park, 2005, Public Art, New York City, vinyl fabric and steel
Christo=christ makes the same project again… he’s reborn in orange tho.
Maya Lin’s Vietnam Veteran’s Memorial (2), 1981-83, Public Art, Washington D.C., Granite
Lin=she was criticized cause she was asian and people are racist. She kicked ass anyway. The end.
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I’m still not done finals till Monday… wtf. I’m sposed to being doing a take home final… wtf.
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DONE TWO OF THREE PAPERS!! ONE MORE CHODE FACE! WOOOOO!!!!!
Applebottom Jeans just came on my itunes…
Send me asks for satan babies!
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I’m considering having another blog for my education crap… but it’s sort of important so maybe I should just keep it on here? Or both? What do you guys think?
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